Minecraft

Minecraft is a Java based RPG/world creator/sandbox that will have your jaw hanging limply below your kneecaps.

There's a few modes but i'm going to focus on the main mode which is minecraft: Alpha, which yes, is still in Alpha.

For a game that's around a year old and is written in java, i'm

surprised I didn't year about it earlier.

Well the basic jist of the game is that you start a new game and the program generates a random map which you're then thrown unforgivingly into.

You have a few game hours to make a shelter and to get something to do during the night, unless you want to die while trying to slay one of four beasts of the land.

Spiders, skeletons, Zombies and creepers are all trying to stop you from perfecting the infinite landscape. you must mine for invaluable resources such as iron, coal and diamond, so that you can rid of these monsters and create a paradise. That is of course unless you play in peaceful

mode, where your health regenerates and there are no nasty monsters.

In addition to monsters there are four regular animals which you can farm for health giving products and other useful things; Cows, chickens, sheep and pigs are all part of the unforgiving yet,

beautiful landscape.

This games has neither the best graphics nor the best physics engine (actually it doesn't even have an engine) but it works well and has a fully supportive

community and an awesomely talented Coder behind it which quite honestly means the possibilities for this game are endless.

As far as the story goes, you can just make it up and as far as character design goes, well hell, you can make that up too. it take a bit of working out but in the end is worth it.

I still haven't mentioned the truly unique aspect of this game. Everything is made out of blocks which you can pick up and craft, smelt, place or just smash. The whole world it a mesh which you

can modify to your hearts content. obviously spawning from this a huge penis and breast structures, or maybe something more sophisticated like super mario?

Well this is a game you can really let your imagination run riot, which a mob full of people holding flaming touches.

For nine euro I would definitely recommend getting this. It's not quite done yet thought so

there's many more things to be added. You can play it in browser or you can download the game to your hard drive, but it only take a few kb (one of the plus sides for using java) so I would download if you can.

EVE: Online

Virtual life, it's a bitch.

EVE is one of those MMORPGs (muh-mor-pa-gh) games.
And it exploited my weakness. Space.
For as long as I can remember; I have been trying to move things using the force.
Mainly due to a childhood obsession with starwars but also because I thought space was so awesome.

So to the game.
It ain't free...
I think it's about £8:50 a month or something.
Best thing is to get the 21 day free trial.
If you ask me a 21 day free trial isn't enough to grasp the experience.

This game is made to reflect real life, meaning it has an economy, corporations and a history of slavery...
There are four factions: Amarr (old imperialist people who like baige), Caldari (corporate easy mode), Gallente (human rights campaigners) and minmatar (former slaves of the Amarr).
I chose Gallente thinking "oh great! this will have huge impact on the game!". Wrong.
due to learning books, you can fly any ship of any race as long as you have the time.
Caldari ships seem to be best balanced.

The skill idea. If you are going to get this game, make sure you do the learning skills first. learning skills make all the others go faster, so instead of having a week for a certain skill you'll have 2 days. The learning means that the younger your character the more shit you're going to be.

It's a good game, it really is, but that doesn't mean the people on it are nice. hell no!
I was lucky enough to meet these genuine safe guys. a week after joining their corp bla bla bla some people started war on us. we thought yeah fine that in game rules.
Then they pulled out my CEO's personal information and posted it where every one could see it. They also threatened his family. we thought, yeah fine we'll post a petition to CCP (the games developers) to which they did nothing.
This is just a warning, if your spouse or kids are playing this game, I recommend you check it out just to see what kind of stuff goes down.
my CEO is now thinking of taking legal charges against CCP of Internet crimes.

CCP aren't all bad though, they let you complain to them about how annoying some aspects of the game are. such as tremendous lag and random closure of the program.
Some one once said: "I want a girlfriend like EVE; they go down on you in the middle of the day without cause or explanation".

let me just tell you how huge this game is.
If we set up all the continents into Pangaea again, and set up a ship to fly across the map and had a race, you would win by over 80 days.
This game is for those who have A LOT of free time as with any MMORPG but i think EVE is pretty damn complicated, and if you don't have much free time or don't like complicated things then i suggest either homeworld or startrek.

The Swan Princess

Sorry about the long gap, I have exams.

In a word: elegant.

In 236 words:

Two royal children are forced to get along when one year the prince asks the princess if they could wed. On hinting that there is no more to her than beauty she leaves and is stolen by a vengeful Ganon look-a-like, turned into a swan by day and get's shot at by said prince.


I'm not the biggest fan of Disney, as every story is pretty much the same, but they go about it in different ways...
I do like how they go about it though. Especially in this film.
seeing as there’s always one, lets start with the grumpy old one.
Today’s OAP is none other than Ganon (at least that’s what I call him), who can cast spells and shape-shift.

Our next contestant is young beautiful and gets turned into a swan. Yes, it’s Odette!

At first she seems to not get along with another of the competitors and then this is sealed when he cannot say there can be anything more to her than beauty.

Our buffoon of a prince is tricked time and again by the evil lord Ganon.

I have to say, the music is wicked! I love every song!

Not too sure the story line is too good though…

Not very ready salted…

I thought the ending was a bit dry.

WHBBI: The prince hauled on a green tunic and pulled out the master sword and slayed the evil Pig-man.

'Plants Vs Zombies'

In a word: original...

In 235 words:

I was zooming around playing G-mod when I got a little bored of shooting stupid combine in the face and thought I would check out steam's deals and new releases.
"A colourful garden; with zombies in it? What is this tom-foolery!
OH MY GOD! PLANTS SHOOTING ZOMBIES!"
Since Paypal is taking it's time setting up, I thought it would actually be a better idea if I got the trial just to see what it was like.
I have no shame in saying "I am a fan of peggle". I don't have any of the actual games but I had one hell of a lot of fun with the demo that came with 'The Orange Box'.
Playing both 'Peggle' and 'PVZ' ('Plants Vs Zombies') I realized that ‘Popcap Games’ have made their own style. A style that works whether you be shooting a very dramatic 'Bagatelle' or you be shottin' zombies.

The only time, I think, I've seen a plant shoot some one was back in '100,000,000 BC'.
This game is more original than ready salted!
Normally, it's the zombie eating stuff...
Not anymore. Today I saw an aubergine (eggplant) eat the undead.

I am now just raring for 'Paypal' the step their game up and set up my bloody account so I can get this game and also get 'Universe At War' for less than a fiver! Too bad the demo was only an hour…

Wrath of the Ninja

In a word: HE-YAA

In 236 words:

This film falls into the Stupid pointless category, meaning "Everything you have done has only helped the other side!". It happened in 'The supernaturalist', It happened in 'Star wars', it happened in 'Collateral Damage', and it pissed me off!

Story line: Three ninjas have to unite to defeat evil in an age of war.

It's a bit fuzzy. Especially for those that don't go by the Tensho calendar. I had no idea why anything was happening or when, all I knew is that people where dying - 'Gantz' style! The fuzziness is due to the fact that this film is a sliced, diced anime, pasted onto VCR

The music gave away the time the film was made; the 80's. Everything from this film reeks the 80's (Believe me, I've seen 'The Terminator'): The style of drawing, the music, the hair. The hair. Forget That Shit!

If I could relate this film to some video games - wait. I can (and will). 'Mortal Combat', 'Onimusha', 'Ninja Gaiden and 'House of the Dead 2'. Why house of the dead you cry! The voice acting. Could you be any more like a monotonal stone?!

So once again the story Annoyed me and the characterisation really annoyed me. at least make the blue flame guy do a rap; 'cos that's what he sounded like he was going to do!

WHHBI: they were proper ninjas and if the drawing was sharper.

'Casshern'

In a word: depressing.

In 2:20 words:

Come on! Did you have to make that film so sad?!

Some guy goes to war, dies, get's brought back to life by his dad, has to stop some other people - Created from the "Neo-cells" that are bent on killing humans.

I'm proud of myself as I didn't get that "What the hell is Osmosis fluid?" though my brain had turned to mush by the second hour. It is a long film, at 2:20 - no not two minutes and twenty seconds - two hours and twenty minutes.

It switches from horribly tear-jerking to epically epic the same speed as a sprinter changes legs.
I didn't cry, but oh so very nearly did.

Put in the oven for half an hour at 200 degrees. Oops, that’s dinner

At some point Tetsuya gains a pro suit of amour at which point i scribbled down "ROCOBOP!"
The music is powerful in fight scenes and soft in the sad parts. The editor for this film is flippin' awesome! Graphics are a big part of Casshern and I'll admit at the beginning I thought it was a bad move. Not at the end mate.
The costumes are amazing!

I thought the end was good but a bit weird.

WHBBI: I was watching it the second time round and if they explained the lightning.

http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/action_adventure/watch/v17513895S7WBC6Jg

Crank

In a word: non-stop

In 296 words:

"I'm looking for something beginning with an E."
"England?"

I went from seeing this blood-pumping swear box film to having tea and biscuits with my grandma.
I felt very anti-social!

Angry assassin gets injected with "Chinese shit" and needs to have adrenalin pumped into his blood to stay alive. If he doesn't he will die in less than an hour.

Chev must rampage, GTA style, through that city with Beverly Hills in it shouting insults down a phone that resemble a few of Caspa and Rusco's songs...
At one point give gives it up the back ally to his girlfriend in the middle of China town, which I found a bit strange, but it's all to keep alive remember...

Best line in the entire film: "There's a white nigga with a gun!" that is the height of LMAO.
The dialog mainly consists of: fuck, shit, mother fucker and various other swearwords that make me laugh. As you can probably tell this film has no smart. it is all action and booty. Non-the-less it's funkin’ awesome! No problems with the acting either.

I, myself though I would also have to keep my adrenalin up while watching this and didn't stop moving the while time. This feeling was helped by the furious music that was blasted into my ears. I want those songs!

I have still to meet some one that can receive head, drive a car and be shot at/chased all at the same time.
The editing style kind of fazed out half way through the film losing it's video game and slightly 80's style and going for the more wacky drug style and I liked the first style a lot more!

WHBBI: there was more jokes about Chav being English. But other than that it's enjoyable.

Gremlins 2: A new batch

In a Word: Hilarious.

In 354 words:

I have seen the first film. I saw it about a year and a half ago.
My favourite part was when the old lady got thrown out of her window by her stair lift.

When this film started I thought a stupid person had linked me to the wrong film, a Looney tunes film. Do not fear!

NEW YORK!
The old guy from the last film has moved shop to New York!
buuuuut, he dies and his shop gets taken over by some massive company who demolish it and take Gizmo (a weird furry creature called a Mogwai).
Gizmo is now in the crazy, animal testing part of the ridiculously high tech office block.
Soon saved by his friend from the fist film and is kept in a draw.

We are soon reminded of the rules of having a Mogwai: don't shine bright light on them, or they'll die - don't let them get wet - don't feed them after midnight.

So what happens next?
Water is sprayed on Gizmo and his spawn eat after midnight. Damn.
So now there are little green buggers running round wrecking the place.

So that's the film from then on.

I sit here munching on Hobnobs creams thinking: "what makes this film original?"
Well, there are a number of things. This film knows that it's a kind of crappy film and emphasizes it to the extreme.
This film couldn't scare my Nan but bloody hell it can make me crease.

There are a few varieties of Gremlin this time: Bat, Spider, smart, electric, transvestite and Rambo.

This film oozes with epic. With such deaths as: Concrete, shredder, headshot and mass electrocution. It's not really a film you have to pay attention to but if you don't you will seriously have a few wtf moments.

SOOO many references! The only way I can describe it is by saying this film is self aware. It knows it's a film and plays with it. Hulk Hogan turns up at one point. I have one funny memory of Hulk Hogan...

I prefered the first one. It had better music

Go watch now!

"Thtough the fire and BONK"

Any one who plays Team Fortress 2:

Through the fire and flames:

Ninja Terminator

In a word: Pointless

In 322 Words:
What the hell just happened?
An hour an a half ago I was laughing my balls off thinking I’d found some one that had actually thought "Hey, you know that film with the metal dude? Wouldn’t it be so much cooler if he was a ninja as well?", but no. I found some one that didn’t know what the hell they were doing.

The story:
Is lame.
Three reckless hoodies have a piece of, no joke, "The golden ninja warrior" which belongs to the "Ninja Empire" and they fight each other for some reason.
Completely unrelated: Some people with animal names kidnap each others girlfriends for a while and then fight. A lot.

Yeah that's about it.

Who the hell designed the costumes for this film? You made a ninja look like solid snake. And another portion of the cast look like the Chinese Monday blues.
What ninja wears bright orange?!

Everything in this film was pointless: The weird GRIM oral sex bit, the other sex bit, the crappy dialog, the whole thing.

The first half of the film was a laugh. True cheese. Half way through I must have had the biggest mood swing because i started getting angry with it...
It would be absolutely nuts with friends though!
Towards the end I found myself thinking a number of things.
What the hell is going on?
Why is solid snake having a sword fight with the Emperor?
I wish L/Ryusaki was there...
Who’s the bad guy again?

This film has also warped my mind making me think that every Chinese person:
Can do martial arts.
Flies 10 meters whenever hit in the head.
Also flips while flying.
This film also made me think ninjas:
Flip everywhere.
Can teleport.
Can shoot smoke out of their palms
Creep around each others houses all day
Are sword proof.

WHBBI: It actually had a cybernetic organism from the future and the people in it could act...

A very wonderful surprise. SQ at 'The road to here' has presented my little blog with Neno's Award. Thank you, SQ for the honor.


NENO'S AWARD

The award is:
1) a dedication for those who love blogging and love to encourage friendships through blogging.
2) to seek the reasons why we all love blogging.

I write this blog to help improve my writing and to quench my thirst for finding new knoledge and films.

The aims of this award:

1)As a dedication for those who love blogging and love to encourage friendships through blogging.
2)To seek the reasons why we all love blogging.
3)Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.
4)Don't forget to mention the person who gives you the award.
5)Answer the award's question by writing the reason why you love blogging.
6)Tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.
7)Don't forget to notify the award receivers and put their links in your post.

I also would like to pass on the award to the following blogs:
1. Justsoyouknow @ Can you earn extra income online
2. Creativestudent @ Guerrilla blogging
3. Lisa Langmead @ A modern housewifes hints and tips. (she seems to be away at the moment though...)

Review: of Robocop: Dark Justice/Meltdown/Ressurection/Crash and Burn

Can I just say: "Thank fuck that's over".

Links will be added tomorrow - maybe an adit aswell.

In a word: Lengthy

In 1,195 Words:

Robocop is, well, a cyborg police officer based in Detroit - which gave me a massive headache.

I'm going to treat these films as one, because as far as I can tell they are set (and filmed) in the same week. No, seriously, there is no sense of time at all.

We start off with a 'Starship troopers' style News cast highlighting the problem of a small group of suicide bombers (which I can’t remember the name of, something like Da Bomb) and who should turn up? YAY! ROCOBOP! Borocop shoots the bombers and is then taken out by a fat man in a stupid costume: "Bone Machine".

It is later discovered that Bonner machine has prototypes from the OCP (an equivalent to the Umbrella Corporation - but with robots). The OCP control almost everything. OCP are in financial collapse and One Sparking member, Damien, Has a plan which he describes as "Divine Intervention" (all I could think of was a priest with a gun). This idea was to have a giant super-computer control the entire city. A young, fresh employee of OCP (James Murphy) gets IMs telling him to meet at some loading bay at 8. he goes and there’s a secret thing going on.

It's here where a sense of time is needed. There is a flash back of before Coborop existed and he was Alex Murphy - working with John Cable. They were playing chess then John exposed himself to beat Alex and called it the "Cable Manoeuvre".

Later that day, they got a call to go check out a dog, which was eating human flesh.
After seeing what the dog was having a munch on they decided to check out the house and subsequently found a young woman in a chest-fridge and a man that takes John hostage.
The criminal Demands that Alex drop his gun while John tells him to shoot.
Alex drops the gun and is then told to "die" by the perpetrator and is somehow shoot dead my John.
John receives a medal and Alex looses respect for him.

Back to present tense. We now find out that that James Murphy is Pocobor's son. In this film; every one knows every one - and is related to them! So loads of stuff happens that is quite insignificant, then out of nowhere BOCOPOR GETS 1337 HACKZ and is told to "Terminate John Cable". Now, is it me or does that remind you of "Terminate John Connor"? Hmmm...
So, anyway, the roobcop chases John CABLE and then is confronted a second time with The Skeleton producer, who then takes John hostage. This time Alex shoots and kills John - with armour piercing bullets.

Film 2: OCP gets infiltrated by some women in leather hacking into S.A.I.N.T (the computer to control everything) and Porocob saves the day! Again! Woo!

You know I said John Died? Well he comes back as another Robocop. But for the simplicity I will just call them by their names and stop making up silly anagrams...

So John is told to go out and wreck shit up; thus framing Alex.
Alex is now to be recalled and doesn't know anything about it until he sees it on Federal network and a few police with guns come round the corner and shoot at him. He's then confronted by John and they have a fight which results in Alex driving into a river.

HERE COME THE HOMELESS NINJAS! ok, I’m sorry it's not really part of the film but it's on TV in the film... soo... well I found it funny.

Feeling rejected Alex tries to do the mega64 Resident evil 4 skit and dress in a large coat. he needs to get a processor for something.

As well as John after him, Alex now has the "robo-hunters" on his tail. The robo-hunters use powerful electric weapons to stop Robots.

Alex manages to Reclaim John from lies and they run away together.

The guy that came up with saint is fired for hiring the "Robo-hunters" and kills the entire Board using pressure and heat - Supplied by S.A.I.N.T.

Film 3:
Yeah Film 3 is just that Alex gets his memory back and John is captured and now controlled by an evil scientist called Dr. David Kaydick, who has invented the "Legion" virus - which can infect PCs and People. Dun dun dun! There is a lot of gun fighting and James finds out Robocop is his dad.

Also Damien becomes President of the OCP/a dickhead.

Film 4:
S.A.I.N.T is activated at midnight and Kaydick plans to infect the city with the Trojan Virus and every one has to stop him bla bla bla...
Every one gets into the Skynet building and it goes into lock down preventing escape.

Some fights take place and by now I’d forgotten nearly everything from the first film...

Kaydick successfully uploads the virus and there isn’t much they can do to stop it seeing as Alex is quite messed up.

Somehow every one apart from Kaydick and his ex wife get out of the main control room and are running from John, who catches up with them and turns Alex off.

Meanwhile, Kaydick and the wife are evaporating - woops sorry, pixelating and they both die without being able to set off the EMP to stop the ‘Red Queen’.

John stumbles up to the A.N.G.E.L computer and says "Do you play chess?", immediately I went OH CRAP! Then I think you can guess what happened after that.

The end was good (tone of unease invoice) but could have been a hell of a load better, like having a thumbs up. No, wait, that’s taken.


Films/Games i can connect this to: Judge Dredd, The Terminator, Irobot, Star Wars, Resident Evil, Any game that allows god made/Bullet proof made and Half-life.

This film is so much like Judge Dredd, I nearly shat myself with frustration. At one point I actually thought I was watching The damn thing. I kept expecting to hear: "I AM. THE LAW!" - I didn't though...

The Effects were alright. Apart from the scenery; Dreddful.

Acting was the usual (kind of) mediocre alrightness.

The sets where really quite good! Come to think of it, I didn’t realize they were sets.
WOAH!

The story = confused people. Who, in this film, wasn't a mum or dad?

The costumes were good apart from the Robo-hunters which looked like over eccentric paintballers and I swear one just had a master chief outfit on!

The TV in the film i thought was going to ask me if I wanted to "view more". There were two things on the TV i liked: The homeless ninjas and the OTOMO!

This Film had way to many likeness' to films. who puts a man called John and a woman called Sera in a film where theres a cyborg?

Over all: Don’t watch this all at once, like I did. I you do follow this guide: Have food, have water, have an icepack helmet, do it with a large screen in the dark, keep your finger on the volume control, Pay attention and last but not least watch it with a mate who is more eager to see it then you. If you can't be bothered to sit and watch for over 6 hours; watch Judge Dredd instead.

Review of film: MULAN

In a word: wonderful.

In 454 words:

It's been years since I last watched this. I'd forgotten how funny it was. Sometimes, though, Eddie Murphy gets on my nerves and steals the show a bit.

For those that haven't seen Mulan, It's set in China during the Sui dynasty (which means the time when China and the Mongols were at war - hence the great wall of China)

One man from every Family in Mulan's village is called up, and being the only man in the family, Mulan's father steps up to the honour. Opposing to this "honour", and previously disgracing her family name, Mulan decides to Take the draft paper and pose as a man in the army. Woops.

Knowing Mulan has escaped to the country The Ancestors send the great stone dragon after her but a small red dragon named Mushu accidentally breaks it, so he goes in its place.

Thinking it would be a good idea, Mushu teaches (unsuccessfully) Mulan how to act like a man which result in enemies...

Upon failing so much Mulan gets thrown out of the army mid-song, but proves herself worthy by climbing the top of a large pole and fetching (so kindly) her dashing commander’s arrow.

No and expects her to be a man until She is wounded while taking down the whole Hun army simultaneously saving her commander. She is spared because she saved the commander.

There is a large celebration yet, Shock and horror - some of the Huns aren't dead! And then it's the climactic ending.

AHG! Tay Zonday is depressing me!

So, you got the essentials; good story, good voice acting, good animation.

It's great for kids. I loved it and about ten or so years later, i still love it. It has the charm which settles you down for some good laughs. The music is a way to illustrate tehe situation to children which it does very well. The only thing with the singing is that captain le Shang's singing voice is Donny Osmond...

The signing up scene reminded me so much of some of the sound clips in Red Alert 3 with all the emperor and honour...

The best bit by far is the "Man bit". i was laughing for a solid five minutes, at least. For some reason women trying to act like men is quite funny because (and I don't know why) they always try to complicated... either that or just burp and fart.

Lots of wisdom and wise words are bound to fill your head after watching this film.

I would say, if you don’t like war or Chinese people and prefer Football (English football) and Americans you should watch 'She's the man' - it's pretty much the same thing. WATCH MULAN NOW!

Review of film: 100 million BC

In a Word: Laughable.

In 446 words:

Oh dear. Ken Locsmandi deserves a slap.
Now, see when I clicked on the link to this I thought I was getting the film with the guy from 'the mummy' in it, wrong film.

While watching this shameful film I felt as though I was watching an 85 minute long Red alert 2 cut scene - with dinosaurs. The graphics were so bloody bad! Get your proportions right! I’m no longer a large fan of dinosaurs but I know that wasn't called a "fillagolopinawhoowa" (ok they didn't call it that, but something equally ridiculous) it was either: T-rex or Giganotosaurus, neither of which lived 100 million years ago. trust me I know this because I’m awesome...

A man, in the 1950s, sent his brother and friends back in time to a long time ago (not quite a galaxy far, far away) to the time when giant lizards ruled the earth. The team’s time device broke so they were stranded in the past. The crew leave cave paintings as messages to Frank, the man who sent them.

Frank feels bad so he waits 60 years and then goes to save them. This is one of those "you're the best we have" films. So, the best they have is sent with frank to save the previous crew of 20. Now. Remember there are dinosaurs and time travel. There’s the story. Simple.

"The best they have" go through the worm-hole and all are fine apart from one guy, who got embedded into a tree upon entry. Believe when I say (where ever you go I’m gonna be there) Half of "the best" get taken out by two raptors and one gets his face shot off by a plant. I was disappointed. Seriously, you know you’re on low pay when your face gets shot off by a plant.

Anyway... they find the three people, who've now been there for 6 years.
they go back, frank has to stay behind to close the worm-hole, gets eaten instead, Hench Giganotosaurus gets through the hole and terrorises the modern whole. The city I can only describe as "The place from GTA: San Andreas" but with worse graphics.

So there you have it, a crap film with a crap ending and crap face acting. Face acting (as I put it) is expressions; the brother in this film had the "OH SHI-" face on all the time!

a few more nit-picks which don’t require detail: Why is every one driving the same hummer? Why don't you just shoot the damn thing in the eye? Wouldn’t that kill you like in 'Time cop'? What the fuck is that fucking beeping noise? You're not 'The Lost World'

Review: Having Duel monitors.

Yes that is my room. 10 points if you can guess what the poster is.

In a word: Wesker

In 289 words:

Yes. I do feel like bloody Albert Wesker with duel monitor, though one maybe largely outsized by the other. It's not that I've been owner of one of the largest pharmaceutical companies and started about 20,000,000 zombie out-breaks, it's that I feel powerful being able to watch my mouse zoom between screens.

Ok, I'll stop making 'Resident Evil' references (for now). So to run in duel monitor you will obviously need two monitors but you will also have to have a decent graphics card. My set up is my 22" in 1680x1050 in digital and my... other one in analogue. Analogue has a blue plug and digital has a white plug with squares in it. Apparently digital gives a better picture, so I’m told.

Now we come to usefulness. Having two monitors is very useful. A bit surreal, but useful. More space, better for playing games while on any IM, more fun and it makes you look really cool!
That’s why I love Duel monitor. You can have clone screen mirror screen and all sorts but I think it depends on what graphics card you have, I have quite an old one so maybe you might be able to. It's just like having a REALLY big monitor, accept with a large gap in the middle...

Some bad things are clashing resolutions and picture quality. The left screen is incredibly fuzzy. If you do get Duel screen, may I advise you get Two of the same monitor and either a both analogue or both digital graphics card.

The only thing I don't like about having duel monitors is that 'world of goo's pointer sometimes goes onto the other screen

Oh and no one won the competition because no one entered.

Review of game: World of Goo

http://2dboy.com/games.php?ref=demo1

In a word: addictive.

In 348 words:

I think I just played this game for an hour straight. I'm not actually sure because I was so immersed in the cute little Physics game that I didn't realize what was going on around me (not that anything did happen). WOAH! My computer clock just scared the hell out of me and moved the clock forward, so I thought I'd just sat there for an hour. Any way, this is an art-work game, but a game none-the-less. It's not as adventurous as Half-life or Command and Conquer but it has a charm, The kind of charm where you stay in all day playing it on a rainy afternoon just to see what kind of scaffold you will have to construct next.

Upon first seeing this I thought "what the hell?!" then I was shown what to do by a friend and I immediately fell in love. I'm a fan of almost any Physics game but this one stands out like a tree in a field of grass. The simple yet Beautiful Design of 'Goo' makes up completely to lack of explanation, but nowadays every little thing in a game is printed out in bold writing, so it's nice to have a break from all the seriousness.

The game play is fresh and simple. Connect the blobs. That's all. A certain level of ingenuity is needed but only a low level. I had an absolute blast while playing this and at the end of the demo I felt a massive sense of accomplishment and pride. There is a massive range of levels such as, lengthening a frog's tongue, building across cliffs and a "regurgitation" level - my favourite by far!

I would definitely recommend this game to any one who has a Wii or PC, whether young or not so young, you will have as much of a blast as me. I was also astonished when I found out this game was only made by two men and to them I say "well-bloody-done" and do you think you could give me a job when I graduate from Uni?

Review of film: Braindead/Dead Alive.

Yes it's one film with two titles.

In a word: Grim.

In 568 words:

I have no idea where to begin.
Well it's about Zombies, so where does the infection start?
The answer to that is Plagued rats raped tree monkeys’, forming the rat-monkey or Sumatran. One of these Sumatran is taken to a zoo in New Zealand (that throws all Yahtzee jokes out the window...).
A spying mother follows her son and his gal' to their date at a zoo and while hiding in the bushes gets bitten by the skanky rat-monkey. The thing about this i didn't see coming was mumsy curb squishing the rat-bag.

I think this is the second film I’ve seen this month where some ones face falls off...
so mother (a lily savage look-a-like) is sick in bed and is starting to, how to put it? decompose? well anyway a nurse is called in and while in presence of the dying woman and, in turn, gets her head ripped off. Lovely. Lionel (the son) then, locks the zombies in the cellar.

Somehow his mother has a funeral and is buried. Though in the time between the funeral and his mother’s death, he has been keeping them at bay with Tranquilizer. For some reason he needs to dig his mum up, but is stopped by a gang of punks, one of witch get his balls ripped off. so the mother has broken out, creating more fiends. Hearing all the commotion the priest jumps out and says the best line ever: I kick arse for the lord". And so he does. But ends up being bitten in the funniest way ever. A severed zombie head lands on his shoulder and bites him. What bad luck.

So with all four zombies away in the basement, two of them actually have sex and make an undead child. I have no idea how that works but it's amazingly hilarious!

Lionel’s uncle somehow stumbles upon the dead four and threatens to call the police unless Lionel surrenders the money and the house, which he does.
now owning the house uncle les, throws a party!
I sense a zom-fest!

And from then on it's a literal (in some parts) bloodbath. To tell the truth I actually felt slightly sick in some parts. But after a while the gore effects (which actually got special mention in the opening credits) are very comical.

Some of my favourite quotes are from this film, including; "I got a bad feelin’", "well maintained frontage" (unlike the acting), "your mother ate my dog" and "haven't seen mum yet". The accent nails the films style, over the top, 50's hopelessness. I couldn't help notice the uncle sounds a lot like the soldier from Team Fortress 2, especially when he says "you maggot".

So according to this film how do you rid the world of zombies?
Lawn mower. Simple.
If I had to compare this film to another, it would have to be evil dead 2. They have the same trapped-in-house feeling, which gives it a certain edge.

One thing I want to know is why; in nearly every zombie film does some one get their stomach ripped about the place? I mean it's cool for the effects team, but it gets a little repetitive, but not when the zombie's organs kill people.

over all: this film is a must see. No question. The only thing they need is for the mum, at the end to say "GET IN MAH BELLEH!”


One last thing. I think I might do a competition. The task is to draw me a picture of what-ever is out side your window or your local park, any scene really. I will chose the winner and you can submit your picture via email to Chugalum@hotmail.com. The prize will be all my notes on the films I have reviewed and some ones that I didn’t get round to finishing. You should probably add your address in the email and your name. You have until Sunday midnight. Winner should be announced on Monday.

Review of film: Repo the genetic opera

In a word: amazing!

In 451 words:

Firstly I must apologise. I didn’t take many notes of this film, simply because I was sitting in awe for an hour and a half.

The story is simple but then again, who cares?
The world begins to deteriorate due to an epidemic of organ failure, but lukily Gene-co has found a way of making organ transplants amazingly easy.

Next thing you know every ones getting organ transplants. But. Not every one can pay for the surgery, so a man is sent out to reposes the organs implanted into the dreading people.

Lot’s of exiting things happen along this colourful, yet grim journey. My favourite of these events has to be Paris Hilton’s face falling off. The colour from this story comes from a rather entertaining comic style narration which allows the back story to be put across with out some sort of confusing “wait is this a flashback” scene which I often find aggravating.

The visual effects in this are seeming-less and not once did I ever question if any of the hearts and gore where real. Yes, as you can see, it’s guts galore so again not one for you squeamish peoples.

The film starts straight off and we get to know the characters through the impressive Comic strips so that means no getting bored while a depressing monolog drifts past unconcerned ears. The characters are well portrayed by the modern upbeat music and to be honest there was only one song that annoyed me, which was the 17 one, and frankly she deserved that slap. Most of the characters are freaks. A surgery addict, a man with some one else’s strapped on to his and a woman with holographic eyes, could this be better than a note book that kills people or a red fat man with a giant hand? Well, yes to the latter

Acting: now for me the acting was top notch! I was laughing for ages at the fact that Rupert Giles from ‘Buffy’ was playing the part of a ninja surgeon. Every time he started to sing I had a flash back of an episode of ‘buffy’ I saw when every one started to burst out in song and dance then explode into flames. Every one fits very well into their parts, weather they are ninjas or spoilt daughters. If I had to chose a favourite, I would defiantly choose the Repo.

I thought that the end was amazing, though a little unclear and I kind of expected it but not really… if that makes sense.

Some of the singing was a bit off, but forgivable. So over all it’s an excitingly fresh and eccentric film that will make you laugh your nose off.

Review: Mutter (album release 2001)

In a word: Powerful

In 204 words:

"BANG, BANG!"
I’m sorry, I love this album as it is the album I would chose for a high-speed car chase or killing lots of evil things!
some of you (if you've seen xXx) will know feuer frei and will agree it hits the spot for an adrenalin rush.

Till Lindermann, maybe doesn't have the nicest voice, but i can't help thinking that any ones voice wouldn't fit, it would be like Alan Carr playing The Terminator. His strong, rich voice could surge through any persons circulatory system instead of blood and I’m pretty sure they would be able to take down an animal of ten times their size.

Thought their music is relatively simple (compared to the likes of arch enemy ect) but so much better in my opinion. Before Rammstein I had never heard of industrial metal but it seems like a terrific blend heavy guitar and eccentric sound effects.

Over all I think this music is great. No question. i would defiantly advise you to buy this album! Lyrics maybe unsuitable for children that speak German and album artwork is extremely messed up.
If you like the album go check them out live! mein teil live at Völkerball is the best!

The Graduate (1967)

In a word: mindfuck

In 494 words:

if I had to put this film into a genre, I would have to make a new one, called what-the-fuck.

So we start off with a nice simple intro where a neat, high scoring student is getting praise from a whole load of people. Apparently he was top of his classes and hosted a range of different activities in his school.

so as you can guess Ben (the main character) wants to get away from every one and hides in his room away from the blabbering party. A lost woman stumbles into his room and he ends up taking her home. Now, for me this film was agonisingly annoying. he couldn't just leave her house could he? Mrs. Robinson (which is also the name of my English teacher) seduces Ben, though Ben escapes with only "call me"

One night Ben decides "hey you know what? I think I’ll call that woman that's, like, at least 20 years older than me". They book a hotel room and get it on. Oh, by the way, she has a husband and daughter. Messed up stuff. This goes on for quite some time, demonstrated by one of the best montages I’ve ever seen.

Ben is soon under pressure by Mr. Robinson and his own parents to take out Elaine Robinson - The daughter, who Ben has been told is off limits according to mother...

so can you guess what happens?
They have a great date! Which results in a "let's go out tomorrow".
Mother swiftly Foils the plan by threatening to tell Elaine about the affair, BUT Ben tells Elaine before mother can and gets a metaphorical curb-stomp (don't click on the link if you're squeamish, or don't like KoRn...).

So any way I kind of lost the plot there.
This is a slightly awkward film that left me saying "YOUR MUM" for quite a lot of it.
It made me feel a bit too anxious though. if hate anxiety.
Acting, I thought was really, really good though the voices did annoy me quite a bit...

The sound was not great as the editing was kind of messy.
Wonderful music accompanies the film throughout although there is only so much rosemary and thyme I can take before I go crazy and shave off my eyelashes.

The camera shots impressed me and I though that the film was well put together, then again I think that 'zombies zombies zombies' is well put together (trust me it's a real film).

Over all it's a bit strange at the beginning (ok, I had to have a break halfway through to rethink my morals) but towards the end it gets better and better! as I said it is a "WHAT THE HELL?!" kind of film but it's all worth it for the hilarious ending which I realized was what the Simpsons were taking the piss out of one episode. I would probably say this is a film to see before you die.