Wrath of the Ninja

In a word: HE-YAA

In 236 words:

This film falls into the Stupid pointless category, meaning "Everything you have done has only helped the other side!". It happened in 'The supernaturalist', It happened in 'Star wars', it happened in 'Collateral Damage', and it pissed me off!

Story line: Three ninjas have to unite to defeat evil in an age of war.

It's a bit fuzzy. Especially for those that don't go by the Tensho calendar. I had no idea why anything was happening or when, all I knew is that people where dying - 'Gantz' style! The fuzziness is due to the fact that this film is a sliced, diced anime, pasted onto VCR

The music gave away the time the film was made; the 80's. Everything from this film reeks the 80's (Believe me, I've seen 'The Terminator'): The style of drawing, the music, the hair. The hair. Forget That Shit!

If I could relate this film to some video games - wait. I can (and will). 'Mortal Combat', 'Onimusha', 'Ninja Gaiden and 'House of the Dead 2'. Why house of the dead you cry! The voice acting. Could you be any more like a monotonal stone?!

So once again the story Annoyed me and the characterisation really annoyed me. at least make the blue flame guy do a rap; 'cos that's what he sounded like he was going to do!

WHHBI: they were proper ninjas and if the drawing was sharper.

Ninja Terminator

In a word: Pointless

In 322 Words:
What the hell just happened?
An hour an a half ago I was laughing my balls off thinking I’d found some one that had actually thought "Hey, you know that film with the metal dude? Wouldn’t it be so much cooler if he was a ninja as well?", but no. I found some one that didn’t know what the hell they were doing.

The story:
Is lame.
Three reckless hoodies have a piece of, no joke, "The golden ninja warrior" which belongs to the "Ninja Empire" and they fight each other for some reason.
Completely unrelated: Some people with animal names kidnap each others girlfriends for a while and then fight. A lot.

Yeah that's about it.

Who the hell designed the costumes for this film? You made a ninja look like solid snake. And another portion of the cast look like the Chinese Monday blues.
What ninja wears bright orange?!

Everything in this film was pointless: The weird GRIM oral sex bit, the other sex bit, the crappy dialog, the whole thing.

The first half of the film was a laugh. True cheese. Half way through I must have had the biggest mood swing because i started getting angry with it...
It would be absolutely nuts with friends though!
Towards the end I found myself thinking a number of things.
What the hell is going on?
Why is solid snake having a sword fight with the Emperor?
I wish L/Ryusaki was there...
Who’s the bad guy again?

This film has also warped my mind making me think that every Chinese person:
Can do martial arts.
Flies 10 meters whenever hit in the head.
Also flips while flying.
This film also made me think ninjas:
Flip everywhere.
Can teleport.
Can shoot smoke out of their palms
Creep around each others houses all day
Are sword proof.

WHBBI: It actually had a cybernetic organism from the future and the people in it could act...