Minecraft is a Java based RPG/world creator/sandbox that will have your jaw hanging limply below your kneecaps.


Minecraft is a Java based RPG/world creator/sandbox that will have your jaw hanging limply below your kneecaps.


Do the bump and grind...
'Flatout 2', by Bugbear, is a nuts thrill ride that will leave you shaking in your seat!
It's the kind of game that would make your mum cry; unless, of course, your mum is a Texan.
Where to start...
Ah! The start line!
Every environment is nearly 100% destructible. That does include the start line and many, many, many walls. Sadly trees are not destructible and I was thrown out my front windscreen (literally) only to land; smack bang in the middle of the race course, then run down by five aggressive dicks.
You might think: "Hmmm... I can fuck up my surroundings... buuuut, wouldn't that mean the graphics would get tuned down a little?"
No. I can tell you: this game is 3 years old and I found the graphics to be amazing; not that I had much time to look at anything...
Laps in the race events are pointless.
They could have put a time limit of 10 seconds on and saw that got the furthest and it would make no difference, as the only bit of the race that matters is the end. Not to say the races are bad, but, as I found with Mario kart, you can be right at the end of a race and FUCK UP!
If racing 'aint yo' thing, Fear Not!
One of the reasons I remembered the title "Flatout" was because one night five years ago, I was at this guys house. We spent all night flinging a limp man out of a windscreen in an event called "high jump". Actually, we didn't spend all night doing that because we started to work out and do all sorts of manly things like breaking Rottweiler’s faces.
Any who, Thankfully Bugbear brought back the awesome events; such as: high jump, darts, ring of fire, baseball, and quite a few more.
Even if you just want to kill some bitches this game is for you!
As well as the events and racing, there is a "
This was a surprise for me actually!
I love it. Driving round and smashing directly into another car made out of paper (with the explosive tendencies of a nuclear bomb) is a real kick.
And for all those rim leachers, there's a time limit for not hitting cars. You have 45 seconds from each hit to get another BAFF!
The cars are well balanced and pretty much, you either have a strong one, a fast one, or one that turns well.
The Performance shop allows you to pimp your ride; so you can make it faster or stronger ect. The money system is also good, though I found myself thinking that I shouldn't have that much money, as I didn't realize that for every shunt or push you give someone you get paid!
WOOP!
Why?!
Why the hell did the sound man allow fall out boy to be on this game?
That's my one disappointment about this game: the music.
Yes, maybe if I was a Nascar loving guy wearing a white vest I would like it;
but being a skimpy boy in my room, I think hardcore drum and bass would beat Nickleback.
Underoath are good though, as is Rob Zombie.
Overall I think this game is aimed towards the young, spunky audience, like myself. Though I think any angry person could load this up and have a play; as long and they reconfigure the controls, otherwise you'll have no clue what's going on.
Thumbs up!
Sorry about the long gap, I have exams.
In a word: elegant.
In 236 words:
Two royal children are forced to get along when one year the prince asks the princess if they could wed. On hinting that there is no more to her than beauty she leaves and is stolen by a vengeful Ganon look-a-like, turned into a swan by day and get's shot at by said prince.
I'm not the biggest fan of Disney, as every story is pretty much the same, but they go about it in different ways...
I do like how they go about it though. Especially in this film.
seeing as there’s always one, lets start with the grumpy old one.
Today’s OAP is none other than Ganon (at least that’s what I call him), who can cast spells and shape-shift.
Our next contestant is young beautiful and gets turned into a swan. Yes, it’s Odette!
At first she seems to not get along with another of the competitors and then this is sealed when he cannot say there can be anything more to her than beauty.
Our buffoon of a prince is tricked time and again by the evil lord Ganon.
I have to say, the music is wicked! I love every song!
Not too sure the story line is too good though…
Not very ready salted…
I thought the ending was a bit dry.
WHBBI: The prince hauled on a green tunic and pulled out the master sword and slayed the evil Pig-man.
In a word: original...
In 235 words:
I was zooming around playing G-mod when I got a little bored of shooting stupid combine in the face and thought I would check out steam's deals and new releases.
"A colourful garden; with zombies in it? What is this tom-foolery!
OH MY GOD! PLANTS SHOOTING ZOMBIES!"
Since Paypal is taking it's time setting up, I thought it would actually be a better idea if I got the trial just to see what it was like.
I have no shame in saying "I am a fan of peggle". I don't have any of the actual games but I had one hell of a lot of fun with the demo that came with 'The Orange Box'.
Playing both 'Peggle' and 'PVZ' ('Plants Vs Zombies') I realized that ‘Popcap Games’ have made their own style. A style that works whether you be shooting a very dramatic 'Bagatelle' or you be shottin' zombies.
The only time, I think, I've seen a plant shoot some one was back in '100,000,000 BC'.
This game is more original than ready salted!
Normally, it's the zombie eating stuff...
Not anymore. Today I saw an aubergine (eggplant) eat the undead.
I am now just raring for 'Paypal' the step their game up and set up my bloody account so I can get this game and also get 'Universe At War' for less than a fiver! Too bad the demo was only an hour…
In a word: HE-YAA
In 236 words:
This film falls into the Stupid pointless category, meaning "Everything you have done has only helped the other side!". It happened in 'The supernaturalist', It happened in 'Star wars', it happened in 'Collateral Damage', and it pissed me off!
Story line: Three ninjas have to unite to defeat evil in an age of war.
It's a bit fuzzy. Especially for those that don't go by the Tensho calendar. I had no idea why anything was happening or when, all I knew is that people where dying - 'Gantz' style! The fuzziness is due to the fact that this film is a sliced, diced anime, pasted onto VCR
The music gave away the time the film was made; the 80's. Everything from this film reeks the 80's (Believe me, I've seen 'The Terminator'): The style of drawing, the music, the hair. The hair. Forget That Shit!
If I could relate this film to some video games - wait. I can (and will). 'Mortal Combat', 'Onimusha', 'Ninja Gaiden and 'House of the Dead 2'. Why house of the dead you cry! The voice acting. Could you be any more like a monotonal stone?!
So once again the story Annoyed me and the characterisation really annoyed me. at least make the blue flame guy do a rap; 'cos that's what he sounded like he was going to do!
WHHBI: they were proper ninjas and if the drawing was sharper.
In a word: depressing.
In 2:20 words:
Come on! Did you have to make that film so sad?!
Some guy goes to war, dies, get's brought back to life by his dad, has to stop some other people - Created from the "Neo-cells" that are bent on killing humans.
I'm proud of myself as I didn't get that "What the hell is Osmosis fluid?" though my brain had turned to mush by the second hour. It is a long film, at 2:20 - no not two minutes and twenty seconds - two hours and twenty minutes.
It switches from horribly tear-jerking to epically epic the same speed as a sprinter changes legs.
I didn't cry, but oh so very nearly did.
Put in the oven for half an hour at 200 degrees. Oops, that’s dinner
At some point Tetsuya gains a pro suit of amour at which point i scribbled down "ROCOBOP!"
The music is powerful in fight scenes and soft in the sad parts. The editor for this film is flippin' awesome! Graphics are a big part of Casshern and I'll admit at the beginning I thought it was a bad move. Not at the end mate.
The costumes are amazing!
I thought the end was good but a bit weird.
WHBBI: I was watching it the second time round and if they explained the lightning.

In a word: non-stop
In 296 words:
"I'm looking for something beginning with an E."
"
I went from seeing this blood-pumping swear box film to having tea and biscuits with my grandma.
I felt very anti-social!
Angry assassin gets injected with "Chinese shit" and needs to have adrenalin pumped into his blood to stay alive. If he doesn't he will die in less than an hour.
Chev must rampage, GTA style, through that city with
At one point give gives it up the back ally to his girlfriend in the middle of China town, which I found a bit strange, but it's all to keep alive remember...
Best line in the entire film: "There's a white nigga with a gun!" that is the height of LMAO.
The dialog mainly consists of: fuck, shit, mother fucker and various other swearwords that make me laugh. As you can probably tell this film has no smart. it is all action and booty. Non-the-less it's funkin’ awesome! No problems with the acting either.
I, myself though I would also have to keep my adrenalin up while watching this and didn't stop moving the while time. This feeling was helped by the furious music that was blasted into my ears. I want those songs!
I have still to meet some one that can receive head, drive a car and be shot at/chased all at the same time.
The editing style kind of fazed out half way through the film losing it's video game and slightly 80's style and going for the more wacky drug style and I liked the first style a lot more!
WHBBI: there was more jokes about Chav being English. But other than that it's enjoyable.
In a Word: Hilarious.
In 354 words:
I have seen the first film. I saw it about a year and a half ago.
My favourite part was when the old lady got thrown out of her window by her stair lift.
When this film started I thought a stupid person had linked me to the wrong film, a Looney tunes film. Do not fear!
The old guy from the last film has moved shop to
buuuuut, he dies and his shop gets taken over by some massive company who demolish it and take Gizmo (a weird furry creature called a Mogwai).
Gizmo is now in the crazy, animal testing part of the ridiculously high tech office block.
Soon saved by his friend from the fist film and is kept in a draw.
We are soon reminded of the rules of having a Mogwai: don't shine bright light on them, or they'll die - don't let them get wet - don't feed them after midnight.
So what happens next?
Water is sprayed on Gizmo and his spawn eat after midnight. Damn.
So now there are little green buggers running round wrecking the place.
So that's the film from then on.
I sit here munching on Hobnobs creams thinking: "what makes this film original?"
Well, there are a number of things. This film knows that it's a kind of crappy film and emphasizes it to the extreme.
This film couldn't scare my
There are a few varieties of Gremlin this time: Bat, Spider, smart, electric, transvestite and Rambo.
This film oozes with epic. With such deaths as: Concrete, shredder, headshot and mass electrocution. It's not really a film you have to pay attention to but if you don't you will seriously have a few wtf moments.
SOOO many references! The only way I can describe it is by saying this film is self aware. It knows it's a film and plays with it. Hulk Hogan turns up at one point. I have one funny memory of Hulk Hogan...
I prefered the first one. It had better music
In 322 Words:
What the hell just happened?
An hour an a half ago I was laughing my balls off thinking I’d found some one that had actually thought "Hey, you know that film with the metal dude? Wouldn’t it be so much cooler if he was a ninja as well?", but no. I found some one that didn’t know what the hell they were doing.
The story:
Is lame.
Three reckless hoodies have a piece of, no joke, "The golden ninja warrior" which belongs to the "Ninja Empire" and they fight each other for some reason.
Completely unrelated: Some people with animal names kidnap each others girlfriends for a while and then fight. A lot.
Yeah that's about it.
Who the hell designed the costumes for this film? You made a ninja look like solid snake. And another portion of the cast look like the Chinese Monday blues.
What ninja wears bright orange?!
Everything in this film was pointless: The weird GRIM oral sex bit, the other sex bit, the crappy dialog, the whole thing.
The first half of the film was a laugh. True cheese. Half way through I must have had the biggest mood swing because i started getting angry with it...
It would be absolutely nuts with friends though!
Towards the end I found myself thinking a number of things.
What the hell is going on?
Why is solid snake having a sword fight with the Emperor?
I wish L/Ryusaki was there...
Who’s the bad guy again?
This film has also warped my mind making me think that every Chinese person:
Can do martial arts.
Flies 10 meters whenever hit in the head.
Also flips while flying.
This film also made me think ninjas:
Flip everywhere.
Can teleport.
Can shoot smoke out of their palms
Creep around each others houses all day
Are sword proof.
WHBBI: It actually had a cybernetic organism from the future and the people in it could act...
Finally one thats out before midnight!
Can i just appollogise for leaving my window open and exposing members of the public exposed to my awful dancing. If you can call it dancing...
In a word: Repetitive
In 408 Words:
I started listening to the first of 11 songs which was Omen. As soon as the song started I felt like killing something. Not because it was a bad song but because all the adrenalin that ever existed just got pumped through my bloodstream at a million miles per hour.
I had to find something to kill so I though I would bring out "the cube" and bust out some Melee. Turns out I’ve lost the bloody cable for the damned thing so I used my Wii. I had the memory cards the wrong way round so I had to switch them and in the process I deleted the data of my good, complete game. So naturally (now on the second song: Invaders must die) I felt like killing innocent bunnies.
As you can imagine, this album will get even King Tut's blood pumping. All apart from 'Warriors dance' that is.
Most of the lyrics are the songs title - Pretty uncommon lately seeing as every one wants to be techno- no we don't use that word anymore do we? Seeing as every one wants to be Electro gods. Well I’ll give rights to The Prodigy cos' they are NANG at it.
Yes. I did find some of the songs a bit like some of Pendulum's music but I also found striking resemblance between that twiddly bit from Omen and the music from the gameboy game: robot wars bla bla. I also thought it sounded a bit like the Half-life 2 music. Weird ey?
It will get a bit dry after a while but never mind that because the last song: Stand Up is really good. Though it's about five and a half minutes of the same bar or two. Stand Up, the name, reminded me of a conversation I had yesterday with my friends about how to keep "Mr. Happy" standing up. That was fun, seeing as I was the only guy with three girls...
So any odd little bits I have to say? Well, yes thanks for asking. There are some stupid lyrics in there but not quite as bad as "always tell your mummy before you go off somewhere". One of their songs was called the same thing a Pendulum song was called.
WHBBI: It had hard, strong, pumping bass.
Do not download this for free. Its worth buying from a shop - though if you're really pressed for cash then I’ll let you off.