Review: of Robocop: Dark Justice/Meltdown/Ressurection/Crash and Burn

Can I just say: "Thank fuck that's over".

Links will be added tomorrow - maybe an adit aswell.

In a word: Lengthy

In 1,195 Words:

Robocop is, well, a cyborg police officer based in Detroit - which gave me a massive headache.

I'm going to treat these films as one, because as far as I can tell they are set (and filmed) in the same week. No, seriously, there is no sense of time at all.

We start off with a 'Starship troopers' style News cast highlighting the problem of a small group of suicide bombers (which I can’t remember the name of, something like Da Bomb) and who should turn up? YAY! ROCOBOP! Borocop shoots the bombers and is then taken out by a fat man in a stupid costume: "Bone Machine".

It is later discovered that Bonner machine has prototypes from the OCP (an equivalent to the Umbrella Corporation - but with robots). The OCP control almost everything. OCP are in financial collapse and One Sparking member, Damien, Has a plan which he describes as "Divine Intervention" (all I could think of was a priest with a gun). This idea was to have a giant super-computer control the entire city. A young, fresh employee of OCP (James Murphy) gets IMs telling him to meet at some loading bay at 8. he goes and there’s a secret thing going on.

It's here where a sense of time is needed. There is a flash back of before Coborop existed and he was Alex Murphy - working with John Cable. They were playing chess then John exposed himself to beat Alex and called it the "Cable Manoeuvre".

Later that day, they got a call to go check out a dog, which was eating human flesh.
After seeing what the dog was having a munch on they decided to check out the house and subsequently found a young woman in a chest-fridge and a man that takes John hostage.
The criminal Demands that Alex drop his gun while John tells him to shoot.
Alex drops the gun and is then told to "die" by the perpetrator and is somehow shoot dead my John.
John receives a medal and Alex looses respect for him.

Back to present tense. We now find out that that James Murphy is Pocobor's son. In this film; every one knows every one - and is related to them! So loads of stuff happens that is quite insignificant, then out of nowhere BOCOPOR GETS 1337 HACKZ and is told to "Terminate John Cable". Now, is it me or does that remind you of "Terminate John Connor"? Hmmm...
So, anyway, the roobcop chases John CABLE and then is confronted a second time with The Skeleton producer, who then takes John hostage. This time Alex shoots and kills John - with armour piercing bullets.

Film 2: OCP gets infiltrated by some women in leather hacking into S.A.I.N.T (the computer to control everything) and Porocob saves the day! Again! Woo!

You know I said John Died? Well he comes back as another Robocop. But for the simplicity I will just call them by their names and stop making up silly anagrams...

So John is told to go out and wreck shit up; thus framing Alex.
Alex is now to be recalled and doesn't know anything about it until he sees it on Federal network and a few police with guns come round the corner and shoot at him. He's then confronted by John and they have a fight which results in Alex driving into a river.

HERE COME THE HOMELESS NINJAS! ok, I’m sorry it's not really part of the film but it's on TV in the film... soo... well I found it funny.

Feeling rejected Alex tries to do the mega64 Resident evil 4 skit and dress in a large coat. he needs to get a processor for something.

As well as John after him, Alex now has the "robo-hunters" on his tail. The robo-hunters use powerful electric weapons to stop Robots.

Alex manages to Reclaim John from lies and they run away together.

The guy that came up with saint is fired for hiring the "Robo-hunters" and kills the entire Board using pressure and heat - Supplied by S.A.I.N.T.

Film 3:
Yeah Film 3 is just that Alex gets his memory back and John is captured and now controlled by an evil scientist called Dr. David Kaydick, who has invented the "Legion" virus - which can infect PCs and People. Dun dun dun! There is a lot of gun fighting and James finds out Robocop is his dad.

Also Damien becomes President of the OCP/a dickhead.

Film 4:
S.A.I.N.T is activated at midnight and Kaydick plans to infect the city with the Trojan Virus and every one has to stop him bla bla bla...
Every one gets into the Skynet building and it goes into lock down preventing escape.

Some fights take place and by now I’d forgotten nearly everything from the first film...

Kaydick successfully uploads the virus and there isn’t much they can do to stop it seeing as Alex is quite messed up.

Somehow every one apart from Kaydick and his ex wife get out of the main control room and are running from John, who catches up with them and turns Alex off.

Meanwhile, Kaydick and the wife are evaporating - woops sorry, pixelating and they both die without being able to set off the EMP to stop the ‘Red Queen’.

John stumbles up to the A.N.G.E.L computer and says "Do you play chess?", immediately I went OH CRAP! Then I think you can guess what happened after that.

The end was good (tone of unease invoice) but could have been a hell of a load better, like having a thumbs up. No, wait, that’s taken.


Films/Games i can connect this to: Judge Dredd, The Terminator, Irobot, Star Wars, Resident Evil, Any game that allows god made/Bullet proof made and Half-life.

This film is so much like Judge Dredd, I nearly shat myself with frustration. At one point I actually thought I was watching The damn thing. I kept expecting to hear: "I AM. THE LAW!" - I didn't though...

The Effects were alright. Apart from the scenery; Dreddful.

Acting was the usual (kind of) mediocre alrightness.

The sets where really quite good! Come to think of it, I didn’t realize they were sets.
WOAH!

The story = confused people. Who, in this film, wasn't a mum or dad?

The costumes were good apart from the Robo-hunters which looked like over eccentric paintballers and I swear one just had a master chief outfit on!

The TV in the film i thought was going to ask me if I wanted to "view more". There were two things on the TV i liked: The homeless ninjas and the OTOMO!

This Film had way to many likeness' to films. who puts a man called John and a woman called Sera in a film where theres a cyborg?

Over all: Don’t watch this all at once, like I did. I you do follow this guide: Have food, have water, have an icepack helmet, do it with a large screen in the dark, keep your finger on the volume control, Pay attention and last but not least watch it with a mate who is more eager to see it then you. If you can't be bothered to sit and watch for over 6 hours; watch Judge Dredd instead.